I Promise I Will.

I'm not going to write poetically. I'm going to say things raw. No sugar-coating. No fancy words and inspirational phrases. If there is anything I want to accomplish in this post, it would be absolute honesty, slight encouragement to be honest with your own self, and simply being real with God.

I failed. I have been failing for quite some time now. How so? I've failed in setting time aside to be with God. School has been my priority. God has been pushed off the list basically. Photoshoots and editing photos have been second on my list. God...not even placing it seems. I try to pray every night. It doesn't happen continually. I miss a night-time prayer session with God because I'm tired/because I don't have the time/because I have to wake up early in the morning/because I fall asleep before I even remember to pray.

I have failed. I am losing my first love.
I want Him back.
Prayer. The Bible. A Relationship-not just a relationship, but a real relationship. I want to want it.

So this,
this is the mark of a new day. A new beginning.
Lord,
Hold me to this:

"I am going to set aside a part of my day to focus on You. I am going to allot a time in which I will only pray to You and read Your Word. No matter how much homework I have or things on my mind, it won't matter. If Facebook can creep its way into my busy busy day, I can't see a reason as to why You cannot. I don't want this to be a "I have to go pray now" type deal. I want this to be a catalyst of sorts that sparks a deeper relationship between You and I. Delving into Your Word and Conversing with You on a daily basis will reveal to me how lovely You are and how much better life is when You are in it-day by day. That is my hope. That is my prayer. That is my promise to You Lord. Throughout this journey I am about to take, reveal to me passages that You wish for me to read. Show me things about You that I have yet to learn. Make this experience, breathtaking. Rekindle my love for You as it once was. I hate saying things like this. I hate acknowledging that my yearning for You has died away of sorts. But I'm being honest. I am praying for Your help Lord."

For those reading this right now,
please don't judge me on what I have just prayed. I must once again remind you, this is for me. For me to remind myself of my daily struggles. I'm keeping it real. I haven't gone off the deep end for those who know me. I'm just trying to give the glory to God. I haven't done so by not dwelling with Him. Don't worry brethren;the Lord will get me back on track. I have faith in that. :)